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I'm The Girl But Not Your Girl

       


Behind my wall,
I was a girl, who you like to bully,
 Listen to you when you feel so badly,
Lost my ego just to be with you comfortably,
And stick on you even it sounds carelessly

Behind my wall,
I tried to understand your flaws
I appreciated your simple hello’s
 Ignored the harsh joke of yours
But still I felt that you did was just for a show

On your wall,
I feel so confused with colorful words
You wrapped me that I fell so secured
But unintentionally, I’m so injured
Aren’t you feel or you’re just so scared?

On your wall,
There’s the truth you said
I was so naive but scared
I was shot by your voice, I was dead
Emotionally, terrified with uncured bleed.

Our walls,
I assumed there’s a love battle
Our feelings of wanting to get better
Now the truth chasing what's matter
about the friendship that call to be together.

I’ll try to make my wall away from you. I know you will call me stalker, go! I will not deny. It’s the only way I can do to keep my smile on my face.

WALLING

        We have days that we don't like our personality. We don't like to talk. All we want is to travel with no destination. We want to scream and explain! But we Can't. In fact, I don't know how and why, it is messed just like my mind. It is not easy to keep in silent but we have to. 

I can't turn back the times,
and I admitted that for now you are a chaos on my thoughts
'coz I was a statue when you are there.
You poisoned my heart for giving me wrong signals,
One day, time will come
when we are not too busy, when we are old enough, 
I would run to you 
If it this would be the same
And I would hug you telling I can be the one who will steal your surname.


          For now, I want to you to understand and I will do the same. I will not put in my mind that your words are for me and I don't want you to think that I match my phrases to you. But please, I feel hurt, so please be that way or not.





Sleep Buddy



        I'm still wide awake and just looking at the wall. I don't know why I can't sleep. I'm hugging my sleep buddy sleep y before i go toTeka! Teka! bakit gising pa kayo? Hindi rin ba kayo inaantok gaya ko? At Dahil gabi na at usapang tulugan may nais akong itanong? Anong bagay o gawain ang ginagawa o hinahawakan nyo bago matulog? (Bawal ang bastos)

          Ako bago ako matulog lagi kong niyayakap yung teddy bear ko, gustong gusto ko siyang katabi at kayap yung tipong nasa katawan ko ang katawan niya at yung kamay niya nasa mata ko para sanggahan ang liwanag. kakaiba no? Pero dito ako komportable. Pinangalanan ko siyang Goldie. Na may habang 4 na talampakan, halos kasing laki ko. Binigay siya sa akin 3 taon na ang nakalilipas. Ibig sabihin 3 taon ko na siyang kayakap. At kapag sa ibang bahay ako nakikitulog, syempre parang may kulang kaya unan yung ipinapalit ko habang di ko siya kasama. Hindi ko naman siya pwedeng dalhin e.

            Hindi ako lumaking may teddy bear na kayakap pero madalas ako makatanggap. Madalas kong matanggap e hindi masarap yakapin masyado kasing mabalahibo, gudto ko normal lang. Di konaman pinangarap na may makasanayang kayapa nasanay lang ako simula nang ibinigay.

           Subrang laki ng pasasalamat ko sa taong nagbigay nito. Salamat.



          Pero alam mo ba na noong nag aaral pa ako napadaan ako minsa sa tinadhan ng "bear cuddler" at sinabi ko sa sarili ko kung sinumang magbibigay sa akin ng teddy bear na kasing laki ko, ng bear galing dito papakasalan ko. hahaha Si Goldi galing korea, hindi siya bear cuddler pero yung taong nagbigay sa akin e nauna na akong bigayn ng malaki ding bear galing sa bear cuddler, hindi kasing laki ko pero malaki din. hahahaha 

O di ba? 

ikaw anong kwento mo?